Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Goodbye old friend


It all started very innocently. It was just a simple burp cloth to use just in case our new doll was one of those babies who spit up everywhere. It was never meant to turn into a vice but somehow it did, from day one in China. Somehow the burp cloth made it off my shoulders and into her hands. Then it made it into her mouth...It has been there ever since--UNTIL NOW.

This is about two hours after we got her. She finally calmed down and fell asleep. There's "rag" on her but not yet in her mouth...

Lindy's primary soothing mechanism of choice has been any type of terry material burp cloth, affectionately coined as, "rag." At first, we brought it everywhere with us. You can see glimpses of it in many of the pictures in China. Then we limited it to bedtime only, although we've caught her sneaking hits here and there when we forgot to hang it out of reach. She's even stooped to digging them out of the hamper in her room. Addiction is an ugly thing.

After an outing in Changsha. Hard to believe she actually slept while we were out.

There have been many nights where Lindy has "lost" rag in the sea of other things in her crib and we've had to come find it for her. I guess that made us the enablers. She sucks on the rag and sometimes it is soaked when I get her up from nap or in the morning. To me it is a gross, smelly, germ factory. To her it is comfort and a necessity for rest.

On a plane about 30 minutes before landing. Finally sleeping with rag in hand and mouth...



We had been telling Lindy for a long time she didn't need rag and that she needed to give it up. Turning three seemed like a good milestone for her to get rid of her nasty vice. She really seemed on board with the idea and talked a lot about not needing it when she turned three. There were many mornings where she'd hand it to me and it would be virtually dry. However, on the day she turned three she wasn't so much into the idea of giving it up for good.

On a camping trip last October...Note the gold and green bear. His name is Dorsey Levens. He (Dorsey Levens, not the bear) is a former Green Bay Packers player. He was a gift and now is also a must have in bed. When he gets "lost" at night, we hear, "Need Dorsey. Need Levens."

I took rag away from her during her nap on her birthday. There's no other way but cold turkey. I had never heard her wail like that. It was painful to listen to. After 20 minutes of what sounded like near hyperventilation, I caved. I was afraid she'd hate me for ruining her third birthday (silly, I know). On Saturday, which was two days after her birthday, we tried again at nap. She cried and screamed for about two solid hours. She even made herself a little sick which I had never seen happen. Can you say massive temper tantrum? I knew giving it back to her would mean giving in and her winning...Saturday night came. More tears and crying. There were also about three trips during the middle of the night into her room for other things...Sunday came. No tears. Just more delays and random requests for water, blankets, certain animals.

It is now Wednesday. Knock on wood, things seem to be going well. She's making it through naps and the night much better. I think she may have found a substitute with a very soft Little Giraffe lovey she has because its corners are somewhat wet. However, I'm keeping my eyes open and am trying to tell her it is just to touch because it is so soft and not to put in her mouth.

I am proud of Lindy for being a big girl and putting away her yucky habit in a matter of a couple days. She really did much better than I thought! Now if I could only learn from her and give up my vices--chocolate, cheese, etc...

****Note: This post is written about Lindy in a spirit of lightness. It is not meant to poke fun at or be offensive to anyone who has struggled with or is currently struggling with addiction of any sort or in any manner.****

15 comments:

Ginny said...

We're trying to get Grace to give up sucking her thumb. This is a tough one! Her dentist even said there would be rewards involved. :)

I hope you had a nice Mother's Day!

Lindy is so cute. It would be hard to imagine the tantrum you described except I've seen it in my own cute daughter. :)

Love,
Ginny

Kate said...

When Lia came to us she had the clothes on her back (of which there were many!) and a small bottle. She was so atached to that bottle. For the first 9 months she was home she would take other bottles for milk etc, but always had the little bottle with water wherever she went. She would often just pause while playing and lay down and suck for awhile. We had to break her of it for school. I tired at first to do it in steps, but then finally just wnet cold turkey. It was brutal. I could still cry thinking about it. After about three nights though, she was fine. I have fear that it will come up in adult therapy for her sometime however...

I am sorry you all had to go through that! Rough!!

Tonya said...

I bet that is hard knowing when to take that false security away from her. I think my daughter was still sleeping with her blanket when she was 5 or 6. She did not need it all the time just when she slept. And she did not come all the way from China.Be sure and save it. My daughters 15 now and I'm proud to say does not sleep with a blankie. They all give it up when their ready. I have never heard a husband complain about his wifes blankie getting in the way? LOL Be sure and keep it for her since it's in all yalls China Pictures. Ps I love the disclaimer.

Somewhere In The Sun said...

Olivia sucks her thumb and I don't know what we will when it comes time to break that habit. I guess there's no easy way. The pictures are so cute!!!

~Lynn

Kate said...

I forgot to add....I LOVED the tongue in cheek manner you wrote this post...very funny you are my friend!

(and of course I also need to add that there is nothing funny about addiction!! :-)

Lin Lin & Ping Sang said...

That is a cute story about "rag"! Neither of my girls were attached to anything, well, except Katie who is attached to ME!!

The Packers are my team, the Dorsey Levens bear is cute!

The pictures of Lindy as a baby are so cute, what great memories.

Carrie

Jcbaron99 said...

Ah, the rags..... I feel for you. Summer gave up her rag ("G") right before her third birthday. I did the same thing, talked with her about it and that she would be 3 and not need it. She gave it to me a few weeks before her birthday. Noah will be another story. We've been talking to him about it too.I feel like it is going to be a Lindy situtation.
I agree about the grossness of it. Sometimes I find Noah hiding in the hall closet where the dirty laundry is getting a hit from his blanket in the dark. When I open the door he covers his eyes and keep on sucking. Gross, but cute and sweet at the same time.
We'll see what Miss Jillian attaches to.

Jcbaron99 said...

Ah, the rags..... I feel for you. Summer gave up her rag ("G") right before her third birthday. I did the same thing, talked with her about it and that she would be 3 and not need it. She gave it to me a few weeks before her birthday. Noah will be another story. His is "night night". We've been talking to him about it too.I feel like it is going to be a Lindy situtation.
I agree about the grossness of it. Sometimes I find Noah hiding in the hall closet where the dirty laundry is getting a hit from his blanket in the dark. When I open the door he covers his eyes and keep on sucking. Gross, but cute and sweet at the same time.
We'll see what Miss Jillian attaches to.

Tamra said...

The disclaimer made me laugh out loud. Of course, I then felt the need to explain that I was not laughing about addictions, as they are in deed serious things. Oy!

Glad Lindy's hanging in there. Tell her Mrs. Tamra is proud!

Hugs.

melissa said...

I appreciate the disclaimer. I'm a mother of a 10 year old who still needs blankie when she is tired and somewhat cranky. I completely understand about the germ thing. Blankie needs to be washed often, but he is so old that he needs to be put in a special bag in the washer so that he won't fall apart. Thank goodness she only rubs one corner and doesn't put it in her mouth. I know that she will eventually not need blankie, since she can go to sleep-away camp for an entire week and leave blankie at home. Love the pictures of Lindy. She is so cute.

Love,
Melissa and Megan
Go Spurs Go!!!

Jaime said...

I need help with the thumb...how can I get rid of that? We used a glove...for about 5 minutes. I just don't even know how to fight that battle. Of course both his parents were thumb suckers and we no longer do it...there is HOPE.

DiJo said...

I just love her!!!!!!

Way to go Lindy! It may be years before your Minnesota pals give up their blankets!!!!

Love,
Diana

cristie said...

Oh ... I could use the hints and encouragement. Dakota turned 6 yesterday and has several special blankies. While she doesn't suck on them .. she does suck on two fingers. Unfortunately, all the coaxing in the world and the stories of the special prizes she'll receive if she stops sucking on her fingers don't seem to hit home when she's working to get herself fast asleep. At least with a "rag" you can take it away and go cold turkey ... those fingers are their for life and so I pray hard that the finger sucking is NOT!
Lindy girl, your getting so big! I am so proud of you for making big girl progress and giving up your very special rag. If we could all learn from you!
The Martine's!

Jenn said...

I love how open and REAL you are Lisa.

For those that just know Lisa from the "blog world"...let me just tell you that she is the MOST genuine person you will ever meet!! It is VERY evident that she loves the Lord, loves her husband, loves her Lindy, and is longing for her next darling daughter! It has has been a true blessing to have Lisa, Lindy, and Don living so near to us!

I love you Lisa!

Blessings,
Jenn

My Heart Beats In China said...

HI FROM ONE HUNAN MOMMY TO ANOTHER!

Just stopping in to say hello. Your LIndy is a beauty! It seems like yesterday when we were in Changsha now 10 months later it will soon be a year.

Also we are Philly natives. Saw your post about visiting. I'll have to come back and read more.
What county is Lindy from? She's lovely!

Thanks for sharing. Stop by and say hi.

Hugs,

Ivy and Kira